Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Why ARE fortune cookies always positive?

Note: The title should be read the same way you read the title of the little booklet that the Jehovahs Witnesses give out; "What does the Bible really  teach?"-- the one where the really really is in italics.

I like to collect fortunes in my Moleskine. Sometimes I shove them in the acordian pocket. Sometimes I tape them to a page in the back. The other day I came across this one. It was taped to a page in the middle of the Moleskine. At an angle.

I decided that was because back when I taped it in, I really wanted to write some notes about Fortune Cookies on that page...and I just didn't have time right then.

So I did what came naturally: I stopped paying attention in Church, and started writing about fortune cookies.

Here's what the page says: (Forgive the grammatical and style errors -- this is my writing in it's rawest form! If nothing else, this shows that even my terrible writing is salvageable...with a few rounds of editing.)

Have you ever gone out for Asian food & been delt a bad fortune?No. It's not possible. All they give out are good fortunes. Because think about it. If you got a fortune that said "Poverty & Affliction are sure next month." would you go to that restaurant again? Probably not. Let's not even mention the poor sap who falls into a self-fulfilling prophecy...Would he sue? You betcha. Still...fortunes give us hope, so bring on the Orange Chicken...I need more money and luck. 


Rubie Huber said...

ha ha ha :) I love your posts Ryan. :)

KASH said...

Love it. :) I can say however that not all fortunes are positive. I once received a fortune that said, "Keep to yourself. Friendliness may make enemies". Hm. Then I wanted to order another round of chicken almond ding, just so I could get a better fortune.

Anonymous said...

IS VERY GOOD..............................